How To Participate in Your Own Recovery

by Brian Warriner

            I am going to share my story with you all and how I participated in my own recovery. I entered therapy in 2022. Like everyone, I had a hell of a time during the pandemic. I was doing cyber school with my nephews, my aunt passed away unexpectedly, I was having health issues, plus my mom was going through cancer treatment for rectal cancer. It was a lot to handle, and I reached my limit. I entered therapy.

            I was lucky enough that my health insurance included mental health. It took some time to get assigned to a therapist. Then, after three sessions, my therapist left. I had to wait a couple of months till they hired and reassigned me to another therapist. I got reassigned to a new therapist, then I had a few sessions with them before they reassigned me to another therapist. It was interesting that my new therapist was a gay man who spoke truth to me. He had offered me many tools to implement.

            Additionally, the relationship that developed was therapeutic in nature. He would check me if I were out of line when I would talk about my actions and affirm me when I was doing the right thing. He listened and was present with me. Even though it was always a telephone session, I would ask him about things like Radical Acceptance, and he would send me some resources; we would then discuss how to implement it. He encouraged me to continue my advocacy for LGBTQIA+ Youth. But after over a year, we both felt that I had learned everything that I could in therapy. Additionally, he was taking a new job elsewhere. I honestly did not feel like waiting for another reassignment.

            I felt confident that I could handle whatever life threw my way. Before we parted ways, I realized that entering the mental health field was part of my calling. I began researching schools that offered degree programs in psychology and planned and implemented steps as I went along. I was accepted into Rowan College of South Jersey and began my associate's degree in September 2023. The school offers a 3+1 Program, which allows students who have completed their associate's degree to apply for enrollment. If you complete your junior year at a community college, then transfer to Rowan University for your Senior year. It was before I started school that I had the idea for this blog. The seeds were planted at that time and have slowly developed into what they are now. Right now, I am in my first semester of my junior year. I am slowly working towards getting my master’s degree in Clinical Mental Health Counseling.

            I knew entering school what I wanted to do, and I had goals along the way. But it is the first semester of my first year. My dad became gravely ill. It looked like he was not going to make it. All of my siblings gathered, and I struggled to do schoolwork, be at the hospital, and stay on top of everything. I had missed deadlines on assignments. I had emailed my professors to explain what was going on to them. I did not believe I would make it through the first semester. I was going to drop out and start the next semester. My family begged me not too, they saw how important it was to me. I told them it was for the best, and as I tried to withdraw from the classes. My family said to me, “You sit this out and help where you can. You need to focus on school.” With my family’s support, I sat at the dining room table every day and went to work. The goal shifted from getting straight A’s to just passing the classes by giving them the best that I could. I passed my classes that semester.

            During this time, the school provided free mental health counseling to all students. I was overcome with emotion when I called their hotline one night to speak with someone. The other person listened, offered words of comfort, and made sure I was okay before hanging up. I realized that I needed to go back to therapy. Because I felt like I missed something, I started looking for a therapist. The first therapist I found, I thought, would be a good fit. But all they did was look at the screen, and I would see them typing. There was no back and forth. I need a back-and-forth dialogue. I found my current therapist, who is a great fit. She listens and affirms when needed, questions me when she thinks I need to reconsider my behavior, and is always there when I need her.

            The importance of therapy is that you start speaking about what you are holding on to. You verbally get it out of your system while you develop the tools and knowledge to deal with those issues. You learn about your triggers and the reasons behind them. You get to work on journaling, showing up to therapy on time, and sharing with your therapist. But also, if you are referred to as a psychiatrist for medication, or you choose to try holistic methods, or a combination of both. With your practitioners, you must have mutual trust and respect for each other. You must be honest with your therapist as well as with yourself. You must be willing to improve and put in the necessary effort to do so. The choice is yours to make.

            I shared my story and how I have participated in my recovery, as well as how I continue to do so. I attend my therapy sessions, I journal, I meditate, and I have constant discussions with myself to talk myself out of the thoughts that would bring me down. I have learned that when I am having a depressive episode, I can feel it coming on. From there, I can ride the wave of it, then I find a way out of it. Once I do, I make sure to have an appointment with my therapist to review what happened. I also journal, as if it's going out of style. But I also spend time outside in the sun and fresh air, which seems to help when I need a natural mood booster. The best thing is being outside, sitting on my front porch, and having a nice breeze while just sitting there.

            I wish you well on your journey to recovery. I hope what you read in this post helps you in your journey.

To Participate in Your Own Recovery

         ·        You have to want to get help. Seeking help is one of the most important things you can do for yourself.

         ·        Make your appointments, show up on time, and be honest with your therapist. You will get nowhere without being honest.

         ·        Do the work that your therapist has for you, whether that is journaling daily, affirmations, or daily meditation. Please do it for yourself.

        ·        Take it easy on yourself; you won’t get anywhere if you are constantly hard on yourself. It defeats the purpose of you getting better and making changes in your life.

        ·        Be consistent with your therapy and the work you are doing. Do not be afraid to ask questions and talk about things you are confused about and struggle with.

        ·        You get out of therapy what you put into it. This is similar to getting sober. What you put into it, you will get out of it. You learn to adjust to being a new person.