Grieving a Pet: It's Harder Than Greiving a Human Loved One

 by Brian Warriner

            The loss of a pet is one of the most devastating experiences in the world, whether they have crossed the Rainbow Bridge or had to be rehomed. There is no worse feeling ever. In fact, I think losing a pet or a furbaby is worse than losing a human loved one. I have experienced that, and I would not wish it on my worst enemy. Unfortunately, we had to rehome some of our pets. When I was a child, my first dog, Lucky, was a small black dog. I am not sure of her breed. She was the best dog, and when he moved, we had to rehome her. She has since crossed the Rainbow Bridge. When I was a teenager, we had a kitten that was given to us by my Aunt Stella. It was a grey, fluffy kitten we called Kit-Kat. We had her for a couple of years, and one day, my mom let her out, and she became pregnant. She gave birth to three kittens; one died, another was given to my uncle’s mom (no blood relation to me), and we kept the third, whom we called Fuzz Ball because she would curl up and look like a grey fuzz ball. We eventually took them to the animal shelter. They were adopted and lived long lives, having crossed the Rainbow Bridge.

            It was about 2006 when we adopted our dog KC. She was found as a stray, and we received a call about a small dog. When my mom met her, she fell in love. We adopted her, and she was with us for almost 20 years. In February 2023, she was slowly dying, and we had to put her down. It was the most difficult feeling; I had to make the call to my brothers. So, they can be there to let her cross over. We gathered, we cried, and we held her to say our goodbyes. They prepared her for the injections. My mom held her as she crossed Rainbow Bridge; she went with love. To hear the vet say, her heart stopped, she is gone. Just broke us all. We cried the heaviest tears. It was hard to leave her body at the vet’s office. But as I saw her soul come home with us. She was thankful to be free and happy. I looked over at the seat next to me in the car, and I saw her sitting there. I cried, and I said How about when we get her back, we set up a memorial. I would make a steak dinner for her because she loved steak. We got the call that the vet has her ashes. We picked them up, and they had a footprint, and her ashes in a box. I picked them up, and I cried like a baby. I had everything ready to create the memorial. I allowed my mom to create the memorial because she needed it more than I did. Every year, we decorate her memorial for the holidays. We have her shirts, jacket, and sweaters that I put on her memorial. In addition to a couple of her blankets and her favorite bed, which I bought her for Christmas. I continued the tradition of buying ornaments.

            After KC passed away, I said to her, 'If you crossed the Rainbow Bridge, send me a sign.' It was a few weeks later; the storm had passed, and the sun was coming out. I saw a rainbow in the sky. It was the brightest rainbow I had ever seen. When I called my mom to look, we both said it was a sign from KC. She had made it over the bridge. I started to cry like a baby. I was able to take a picture of it.

            When we had KC, we did not think to bring another pet into our house. Because she was the queen of the house, she had unlimited attention, snuggles, cuddles, and naps with mommy that she would not have liked to share. When my brother or sister brought their dogs over, she made it clear that it was her house. She ruled the house, and even at the end of her life, she was the queen of the house. The night before she passed, I sat with her, and as I cried, I told her that I knew her time with us was coming to an end. But we always missed her and loved her. I held her and I cried. It was not going to be easy to deal with her passing.

            However, this illustrates how the spirit works, as we were mourning KC, the shelter received a dog. His family surrendered him for no fault of his own. It was going to be six weeks until he would be up for adoption. My mom said if we get another dog, it would be named Chewy after Chewbacca or Yoda. We were mourning our sweet baby girl. I made it clear I did not want another pet because I could not go through this type of pain. But the house felt empty and hollow. The week my brother and dad were in the hospital, it was my brother Eric’s birthday. He was feeling down and was sad on his birthday. My mom had seen the photo of a dog named Yoda. She just fell in love with him. I had seen his picture. On my brother’s birthday, she said Let’s go to the shelter and look around. I was hesitant to do so, but I went with them. Mom led the way, and she was looking for Yoda when she saw him in the kennel. She pointed and said him. They brought him up for an interaction. I didn't want another pet, but he was a happy boy, and he wanted to get out and about. I knew it was for Eric’s birthday, and I said I had no opinion; I would deal with my feelings. It was during the interaction that I saw KC, down by my feet, and she said it was okay to share my love with another dog. She was giving her approval. I knew that he was meant for us.

He just wanted attention from everyone. We adopted him and had to wait for him to get his rabies shot. Then we could pick him up. Yoda is half Beagle and Australian Cattle Dog. He was so happy to come home. The night before, I spent time preparing for him, including his food and water dishes, as well as a spot to look out from the sliding glass door. I cried when he came home with us. He was a lonely pet in the house, until months later, we got a cat from the same shelter. Her name was Pepper, but we changed it to Leia after Princess Leia. She is my mom’s cat. Even though Yoda belongs to my brother and Leia belongs to my mom. They are everyone’s pets. When I have them together on my lap, I say, “I got my babies.” My grief was turned into love, and I shared that love with two awesome pets. I know they are not here for a long time. I take every advantage of snuggling, cuddling, and attention, and give them what I call Brother Time. I stop what I am doing, and I pet them and talk to them. My grief turned into love. I still miss KC, and nothing will change that.

This is just my story of loss; there is no wrong way to grieve the loss of a pet or loved one. We have to adjust to a life without them physically here. In doing so, we try to keep their memory alive. I donate to the shelter when I can, and I share their postings to empty the shelter and get all their animals adopted. I encourage people to adopt from shelters and foster animals instead of buying from a breeder. That is how I channeled my grief about our beloved KC. If you can fill your home with love by opening it to a pet, then you feel the blessings of loving an animal.