Exercise is Therapy

 by Brian Warriner

            Exercise is something that people dread. I know when I think of exercise, I think about working out and going to the gym. I am not one for any of that. However, something is telling me that it would be good for my mental health to get up and work out. There is just one thing: I have medical issues that require me to work within certain limits. I would have to start with physical therapy before I could go to the gym and work out. It would take time before I could get into any physical shape. Plus, I am unfamiliar with what to do, what a rep is, what counts as a rep, or what a cycle is. I am just lost in the dark, so that I can do it right and be consistent with the workouts. There is so much that I do not know when it comes to exercising. However, I could get a trainer and learn from them. The big problem is I love food too much to give up certain things to lose weight.

            However, think about exercise as part of your mental health treatment. Some studies have shown that incorporating exercise into your mental health routine can improve your well-being. There are mental, physical, and biological improvements that occur when you include exercise as part of your therapy or treatment.

The Types of Exercise

            When you start working out, you can work with a trainer to help you with meal plans, customized workouts, and help with meal prep. Now I am just talking about the basics of what I found through my research. Moreover, as it will be New Year’s, many people set their resolutions to lose weight, get in better shape, and make other lifestyle changes. I am talking in basic terms to help you incorporate exercise for your mental health purposes.

            Aerobic exercise involves activities that use oxygen to produce energy during sustained physical activity. The activities include walking, running/ jogging, cycling, swimming, jump rope, Zumba, cardio kickboxing, strength circuit, stationary bike, and elliptical (Chertoff, 2018). When you are using aerobic exercise, the duration should be 150 minutes of moderate-intensity activity or 75 minutes of vigorous-intensity activity. You do not need to do this in one day. Break it down into smaller tasks throughout the week (Cleveland Clinic, 2023). I have created a walking schedule for myself to help build up my strength and stamina for participating in charity walks. I would gradually increase by five minutes during the following weeks. This tends to be easier on you if you are moving forward with exercise.

            Anaerobic exercise involves activities that use glucose for energy, featuring high-intensity, heart-pumping exercises performed for a short time. These kinds of activities include weightlifting, sprinting, rope battle, sledgehammer tyre slam, and ballistic training (13 Best Examples of Anaerobic Exercise, 2021). When you include these exercises in your mental health treatment, you can feel the results. Again, you should never perform 150 minutes of moderately intense or 75 minutes of vigorous intensity during the week. However, one must spread the activities throughout the week. Otherwise, you will injure yourself, and that would make you go in the opposite direction. Benefits of anaerobic exercise include enhanced muscle strength, increased bone strength, improved nerve function, cardiovascular health benefits, a strengthened respiratory system, reduced fatigue, increased energy, balanced hormones, boosted immunity, and improved blood sugar regulation. This also helps with your mental health as it releases endorphins and the feel-good hormones that get you to come back.

The Benefits of Exercise as Part of Your Therapy

            Once you incorporate exercise into your therapy or treatment, you will start to feel the benefits of working out. Benefits include improved mood, enhanced cognitive function, better sleep, increased energy, better physical health, enhanced social interaction, and stress relief (Using Exercise in Mental Health Treatment (Guide)| Therapist Aid, 2015). As well as boosting blood flow, it stimulates nerve growth and improves depressive symptoms (Ducharme, 2023).

            When you add exercise to your therapy/ treatment, it is not just for mental health. This does help decrease the recurrence of depressive and anxiety symptoms. For recovering people with a substance use disorder, it decreases the chances of relapses and the cravings for the drug of choice. It is recommended for recovering addicts to add exercise to their recovery for this reason. Suppose you are recovering from an eating disorder. In that case, it has been proven to improve treatment outcomes for eating disorders like binge eating (Using Exercise in Mental Health Treatment (Guide)| Therapist Aid, 2015).

            Getting started in exercising is difficult, especially if you are new to it. Finding the motivation to get up and do it. I think those who have incorporated a workout into their lives start like this, even if they have been doing it for some time. Finding motivation to get up and go to the gym. I hear so many who work out regularly say, “I am trying to find the motivation to go work out.” However, they find the motivation and energy to get up and prioritize their physical, mental, and emotional health.

            In conclusion, when you include exercise in your mental health treatment, you are giving yourself a chance to enhance the treatment you are employing. Whether that is psychotherapy, journaling, and exercise, you might start to feel better. I would always recommend that you discuss this with your mental health provider and a trainer, and make sure everyone is on the same page when it comes to your treatment. From there, plan what works and what does not, and adjust accordingly. However, give yourself a break as you are trying to figure something new out. It will take time to start something new. As we enter a new year, you may start your New Year’s resolutions, give yourself a break, and avoid jumping in headfirst—one step at a time.

 

 

References

Chertoff, J. (2018, May 3). 10 Aerobic Exercise Examples: How to, Benefits, and more.

            Healthline; Healthline Media.

http://www.healthline.com/health/fitness-exercise/aerobic-exercises-examples#aerobic-classes

Cleveland Clinic. (2023, August 15). Aerobic Exercise. Cleveland Clinic.

            https://my.clevelandclinic.org/health/articles/7050-aerobic-exercise

13 Best Examples of Anaerobic Exercise. The Fitness Phantom. (2021, January 22).

            https://thefitnessphantom.com/examples-of-anaerobic-exercises

Using Exercise in Mental Health Treatment (Guide) | Therapist Aid. (2015).

            http://www.therapistaid.com/therapy-guide/exercise-and-mental-health-treatments

Ducharme, J. (2023, February 17). Adding Exercise to Therapy May Make It More

            Effective. Time. https://time.com/6255359/exercise-during-therapy-effective/

Thank You to my Readers

 This is my way of saying Thank You to my readers. You have come and stuck with me. You made this blog what it is. This is my passion and my advocacy. I started this blog with a purpose in mind, because of you; it is turning into something I never expected it to be. From the bottom of my heart, Thank You for coming along the Journey. I have so much planned for 2026., We will be back January 6th, 2026, with new posts and much more. We have a long way to go to break the Stigma of Mental Illness. We have only begun. Stay Tuned.

What is Holiday Depression and How to Cope with it

 

by Brian Warriner

            For many of us, the Holidays are a season of big family gatherings, presents, carols, and many more events and traditions. For me, the holidays start with Halloween. Where I decorate the house, enjoy the cooler weather, and watch my horror movies. I also stock up on candy. Then there are activities like Fright Night at the local high school, where I take my nephews every year. It’s also their birthday, and then there's the big night, Halloween. I enjoy watching the children going trick-or-treating. I encourage people to take their kids trick-or-treating. After Halloween, all the decorations come down, and Thanksgiving decorations go up. For Thanksgiving, I plan a big meal. We used to host the family every year for Thanksgiving. My mom passed the tradition on to my brother. I decided that we would have a small Thanksgiving dinner. There were times I had my foot in a surgical shoe and was told to stay off it, and one year, I was just two weeks post-toe amputation, and I cooked the meal all by myself. I do not remember eating that year because I was exhausted. I had a cane in one hand, my foot in a surgical shoe. Last year, we renovated the kitchen, and as a result, I now have a sink, a stove with an oven, and a spotlight. I made it work. I cooked a big meal for my brother, my parents, and myself.

            After Thanksgiving comes the granddaddy of holidays, Christmas. By December 1st, I will either have finished or be in the middle of my Christmas shopping. I spend a few days preparing my shopping list for all the cookies that I will bake. I prepare everything I need, from the number of cookies I will be baking to the specific type of cookies I am making. I normally make my famous Toll House Chocolate Chip Cookies, as well as Chocolate Chip Raisin, Oatmeal, and Oatmeal Raisin. I make sure to have containers filled with cookies to give to the neighbors. If I am going to my brother’s house, I give his in-laws a cookie tray. While shopping for cookies, I pick up what I need for my handmade pigs in a blanket, meatballs, and other items for the Christmas party at my brother’s house. That is where we go for the holiday parade put on by the town's great fire department. They do an amazing job every year.

            As the days get closer to Christmas, we pick up the stocking stuffers, finish Christmas shopping, and I make sure everyone’s presents are wrapped, tagged, and sorted for Santa Claus. I enjoy my movies and Christmas shows. My favorite is The Nativity Story. It is a Christmas staple while I wrap presents. The Claymation movies, such as Ernest Saves Christmas, and the movies from my childhood that evoke nostalgia for the years when, in our eyes, Christmas was simpler. Even when we put up the tree, the decorations we have are staples that go on the tree. We have some additional ornaments that were gifts. In the past, when we decorated the tree, I would use some of the garland, stockings, and the tree shirt to take a funny photo, because I love to laugh, especially when things aren't going right. Laughter is the best medicine.

            Every year, our tradition is to provide Thanksgiving Dinner for (4) local families through the local Baptist church, which they announce after Halloween. We make sure we are on the list for four bags. And then, when we go shopping, we pick up items and fill the bags with the fixings for dinner. If we get a free turkey, we donate it. Like my parents raised us, if you are fortunate enough to have food on your table and a little to spare, then give it to those who are less fortunate. We do exactly that. Then, once Thanksgiving is over, we focus on gathering toys for all ages and donating them to the local police station. They distribute the toys to the families in need. It fills my heart with joy that on Christmas, we put a smile on a child’s face amid the hardships of their life.

            Over the past several years, I have been revisiting my traditions. I stopped feeling the holiday spirit because it has become stressful, especially when my parents have had health issues during the holidays. Not having the money for cookies or presents is a problem. Even when decorating the tree and the house, I pray that this year I want to feel the spirit. But it avoids me and my family. But I have this strange way of thinking, if we all make it to Christmas, then we make it to another year. I feel blessed for that. I can understand that so many things can happen that might make the holidays difficult. I remember the holidays after a loved one passed away are the worst because you are more aware of their absence. You were laid off from your job, a loved one is sick and possibly in the hospital, you are caretaking for a loved one, money is tight, and the price of everything is sky high. The worst is that you might have a child in the hospital, and the worry of the situation has taken over the feeling of the holiday spirit. The list of reasons keeps growing.

            It is okay to have no spirit for the holidays; in fact, it has made me understand the Grinch and Scrooge more. They did not hate Christmas; it was the fact that life had disappointed them that happened around Christmas. They wondered if people had to go into debt, overeat, and drink to celebrate what exactly? They both lost the reason for the season. It is time for us to open up to our fellow members of the human race. We take care of each other. I believe this to be true, not just at Christmas but all year long. But the holiday season is when we become even more aware of this principle. The Stress of three holidays back-to-back, with December featuring not just Christmas but also Hanukkah, Kwanzaa, Winter Solstice, and New Year’s Eve. Then you have birthdays, anniversaries, and many other significant life events. That you feel like you cannot catch your breath. I understand it, and if you find yourself dreading the season, and want to get through it. It is okay.

In this post, I will share strategies to help you combat holiday depression. How to differentiate between Seasonal Depression and Holiday Depression.

Causes of and Symptoms of Holiday Depression

            The causes of holiday depression can start in November and continue into December, and lift soon after New Year’s. It starts with the lack of sleep, financial stress, isolation /loneliness, excessive food and alcohol use, and unrealistic expectations. This comes from all the gatherings, the Friendsgiving, Thanksgiving, and work events, where everyone is overeating and drinking (How to Cope with The Holiday Blue, n.d). Alcohol is considered a downer or depressant. It can alter your mood and bring you down. The issues with sleeping can come from indigestion and stress. And the fact that you are struggling financially. The price of everything is going up, while wages remain stuck at the lower end of the scale. You're just managing to pay your bills, rent, and insurance, so you don't have money for anything else. It is the pride of some that keeps them from going on public assistance. It could also be the fact that they make too much to qualify for it.

            But there can be an underlying condition, or events can cause holiday depression. For example, this could be the first holiday season without a loved one, whether it was a grandparent, parent, sibling, or a furbaby. It can be difficult to get into the holiday spirit if you are grieving a loss or if you are separated from your family. Like those who are being separated and deported by the Gestapo, the family dynamics could play a part in the holiday blues (How to Cope with Holiday Stress and Depression, 2023). You might be having arguments with family, or you could be newly out or have been out of the closet. You have a family that is religious and prejudiced. They are constantly berating you and treating you like crap. This can affect your mental health. It is difficult to deal with that kind of discrimination in the home at any time of the year.

            The signs and symptoms of holiday depression can show up as changes in appetite or weight (decrease or increase), changes in sleeping patterns, depressed, irritable moods, difficulty with concentration, feelings of guilt, worthlessness, feeling more tired than usual, feeling tense, worried, anxious, loss of pleasure in doing things that you used to enjoy (How to Cope With the Holiday Blues, n.d). The intrusive thoughts that digs you deeper into a dark hole. It adds to your stress, anxiety, and depression. A person could do self-harm or even attempt or complete suicide. The hell a person can go through during the holidays can be completely overwhelming. It has reached the point where they cannot take it anymore. My heart goes out to everyone who is going through holiday depression.

 

How to Cope with Holiday Depression

            If you are a person who is dealing with holiday depression, there are ways to cope with it. I always recommend that you discuss with your mental health professional. When the holidays are coming up, you can set boundaries. Limit the number of gatherings you will attend throughout the season. Seek support and help from mental health professionals if you are not working with one. If you are grieving, you can remember a loved one or participate in charity work, such as feeding the homeless, joining the food pantry, or starting a collection for the local animal shelter (Hot to Cope with Holiday Stress and Depression, 2023). Every year, my family and I pick up toys and donate them to the police department. We donate to the animal shelter because they provide stockings for the animals that get adopted during the holidays.

            There are plenty of things you can do to ease your stress during the holidays. One can limit their food and alcohol intake. And if you choose not to drink, remember that you do not owe anyone an explanation of why you are not drinking. Learn to say no to requests for your time and participation in events and gatherings, especially if you have already committed yourself to a couple of commitments. Treat yourself with kindness and find time for yourself and what you need. The most important thing is not to isolate yourself. Get out and be sociable, but you do not have to overdo it. The isolation and loneliness are what make the holidays the most difficult. Because you are not around your family, your chosen family, or your friends and community (How to Cope with the Holiday Blues, n.d). If you are alone, go to the local senior center, elderly care, or retirement home and speak to an elderly person. As we get older, unfortunately, our families put us into facilities and sometimes forget we are there and that we exist. So, go to the places for the elderly, talk to them, and have a meal with them. I miss my elderly neighbor Ruth, who has since passed away. I would go over a say hi to her, and we would talk. They love the company if not more than you would (Kohuska-Haskin, 2023).

            There are plenty of healthy ways to deal with your holiday depression, and maybe when you employ some of the coping mechanisms that were listed, then you might just feel the spirit of the season. Once you get the spirit of the season, maybe you will enjoy it and feel like a kid again. I want to wish you Happy Holidays!

References

How to Cope with The Holiday Blues. (n.d). Very Well Mind.

https://www.verywellmind.com/holiday-blues-4771716

How to Cope with Holiday Stress and Depression. (2023, December 13).

Cleveland Clinic. https://health.clevelandclinic.org/holiday-depression-and-stress

Kohuska-Haskins, B. (2023, December 29). What are Holiday Blues and How to Deal

            With them? Psychology Today. Psychology Today.

            https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/how-mybrian-works/202312/what-are-holiday-blues-and-how-to-deal-with-them?msockid=3c615a7a3ec3684126f04bdc3fda69d9

Breaking Societal Dialogue

 by Brian Warriner

            The sad truth is that it is often reflected in the stories we see depicted on television and in movies. When someone is in the hospital, their symptoms point to a psychological event. Especially when the patient is a minor and the parents are told their child has a psychological event, and they bring in a psychiatrist. Immediately, they shout that their child is not crazy. My question is, why does it have to go to that extreme?

            That is where parents draw the line in caring for their child. They demand that they be discharged and taken home. I understand that parents care about their children. However, they do not have medical degrees, nor do they believe there is something wrong, or they do not want to believe it. However, I believe that deep down, it scares them because it is something they cannot change or fix. However, it is no reason for the threats to sue, to take away the doctor’s medical license, or to sue the hospital when all they are doing is treating their child.

            Having a child who is experiencing a mental health crisis does not mean that they are crazy. Far from it, they have been dealing with a mental illness that has either been misdiagnosed or has flown under the radar. It took a traumatic event to bring it to the forefront. Medical drama shows are incorporating this into their storylines. I saw a show where a girl had severe abdominal pain. She had a bowel obstruction, and they went in surgically to remove the blockage. Only to find it was a hairball, the girl was under intense pressure from her mother, who believed she was eating her own hair. Over time, it formed into a ball and obstructed her intestines (Nowlan, 2013). Shows like Gray’s Anatomy, Chicago Med, The Resident, or The Pit. Many of us have watched these shows and been inside an emergency room and know it is not like that. That is because it is overly dramatic and exaggerated. It was an episode of Chicago Med where this child was being abused by his brother and was rushed to the hospital. As the doctor noticed something about the brother, he asked about blood and surgery, and made comments. Led the doctor to believe that their son was showing signs of being a sociopath. When the doctor discussed it with the parents, they blew up. How dare he make judgments on their son? They wanted to leave, but their son was not around. The monitors in the room began to sound, indicating that the brother was in danger. That was the proof the parents needed that their son was abusing his brother and taking joy in the abuse (Petrie, 2016).

            I want to clarify that I am not a parent and have no intention of becoming one. With everything going on in life, parents can get overwhelmed. They truly believe that they know what is best for their children. I believe it is in that block that they forget that they do not know everything and what is in the best interest of their children. It is because their emotions are in overdrive; you try telling a parent to calm down during a medical crisis when their children are involved. Moreover, watch the fireworks go off. With emotions running high, stress, and everything else going on, you want your child(ren) to be okay.

            However, society has embedded the idea that if you suffer from a mental health crisis, that automatically makes you “crazy”. If you have schizophrenia, people think you are “crazy.” The truth is that it stems from the negative stigma we have put on mental health. For centuries, if you had a member of your family with mental health issues, they were locked away from public view. Unlike Charles II of Spain, who, due to the history of inbreeding, had mental and cognitive disabilities, and was made King of Spain from 1665-1700 (Charles II| King of Spain, n.d). However, because of the physical, mental, cognitive, and emotional issues he lived with, he ruled only in name. He had a regency, which is when someone else makes decisions and takes on the act of ruling. For most of his life, it was his mother, Mariana of Austria, who ruled Spain until her death in 1695; thereafter, it was advisors and councilors who governed the country.

            We need to break the stigma around mental health and the shame that we have put on it. We are humans, and for as long as we have existed, there have always been mental health issues. This is nothing new to us, but the way people have clung to the old ways of thinking. The fact that we have celebrities discussing their mental health battles and even writing about them. Carrie Fisher, before her unexpected death, discussed her bipolar disorder. She wrote about it in her books like Postcards from the Edge and her one-woman show and memoir Wishful Drinking, in which she discusses her mental health battles.

            We also have Selena Gomez, Taraji P. Henson, Lady Gaga, Ryan Phillippe, Janet Jackson, and many more who have been open about their mental health issues. However, we are all susceptible to being diagnosed with a mental health disorder. We must start speaking up and discussing our mental health conditions, disorders, and issues. However, we need to reeducate ourselves to stop associating mental health with being crazy. We need to get rid of the shame that is forced upon people who are experiencing a mental health crisis. We need to let them know they are not alone. Parents, you do not know everything, and the accredited professionals have spent years studying to understand mental illness and how to treat it. That is how we developed Cognitive Behavioral Therapy, Medication, Acceptance and Commitment Therapy, Psychotherapy and many other treatments (NAMI, 2024).

            In conclusion, we need to fix the problem that society has created around mental illness. In fact, it is not going to be easy because it has taken hundreds of years to develop the stigma and shame. It will take time to break the stigma and end the shame. We are not alone in this world, even though it may feel that way. Parents, please do not disregard your child’s doctor when they order a psych evaluation, or have you and your child speak to a psychiatrist. They want the same thing that you do: they want your child to get better and go home. However, sometimes that road may get longer as the necessary things take their place to make sure your child and you have the right tools to deal with the mental illness, rather than hide in shame and in denial that it does not exist, because it does exist. Just be open to what they say. Because together we can break the stigma and end the shame.

 

References

Nowlan, C. (2013, January 17). Grey’s Anatomy. (Season 9, Episode 11).

            [Television Show Grey’s Anatomy]. ABC.

Petrie, D. (2026, April 19). Chicago Med. (Season 1, Episode 14).

[Television Show Chicago Med]. NBC.

Charles II| King of Spain. (n.d). Encyclopedia Britannica.

https://www.britannica.com/biography/charles-ii-king-of-spain

NAMI. (2024). Mental Health Treatments. NAMI. National Association of Mental Illness

            https://www.nami.org/about-mental-illness/treatments/

 

Grieving a Pet: It's Harder Than Greiving a Human Loved One

 by Brian Warriner

            The loss of a pet is one of the most devastating experiences in the world, whether they have crossed the Rainbow Bridge or had to be rehomed. There is no worse feeling ever. In fact, I think losing a pet or a furbaby is worse than losing a human loved one. I have experienced that, and I would not wish it on my worst enemy. Unfortunately, we had to rehome some of our pets. When I was a child, my first dog, Lucky, was a small black dog. I am not sure of her breed. She was the best dog, and when he moved, we had to rehome her. She has since crossed the Rainbow Bridge. When I was a teenager, we had a kitten that was given to us by my Aunt Stella. It was a grey, fluffy kitten we called Kit-Kat. We had her for a couple of years, and one day, my mom let her out, and she became pregnant. She gave birth to three kittens; one died, another was given to my uncle’s mom (no blood relation to me), and we kept the third, whom we called Fuzz Ball because she would curl up and look like a grey fuzz ball. We eventually took them to the animal shelter. They were adopted and lived long lives, having crossed the Rainbow Bridge.

            It was about 2006 when we adopted our dog KC. She was found as a stray, and we received a call about a small dog. When my mom met her, she fell in love. We adopted her, and she was with us for almost 20 years. In February 2023, she was slowly dying, and we had to put her down. It was the most difficult feeling; I had to make the call to my brothers. So, they can be there to let her cross over. We gathered, we cried, and we held her to say our goodbyes. They prepared her for the injections. My mom held her as she crossed Rainbow Bridge; she went with love. To hear the vet say, her heart stopped, she is gone. Just broke us all. We cried the heaviest tears. It was hard to leave her body at the vet’s office. But as I saw her soul come home with us. She was thankful to be free and happy. I looked over at the seat next to me in the car, and I saw her sitting there. I cried, and I said How about when we get her back, we set up a memorial. I would make a steak dinner for her because she loved steak. We got the call that the vet has her ashes. We picked them up, and they had a footprint, and her ashes in a box. I picked them up, and I cried like a baby. I had everything ready to create the memorial. I allowed my mom to create the memorial because she needed it more than I did. Every year, we decorate her memorial for the holidays. We have her shirts, jacket, and sweaters that I put on her memorial. In addition to a couple of her blankets and her favorite bed, which I bought her for Christmas. I continued the tradition of buying ornaments.

            After KC passed away, I said to her, 'If you crossed the Rainbow Bridge, send me a sign.' It was a few weeks later; the storm had passed, and the sun was coming out. I saw a rainbow in the sky. It was the brightest rainbow I had ever seen. When I called my mom to look, we both said it was a sign from KC. She had made it over the bridge. I started to cry like a baby. I was able to take a picture of it.

            When we had KC, we did not think to bring another pet into our house. Because she was the queen of the house, she had unlimited attention, snuggles, cuddles, and naps with mommy that she would not have liked to share. When my brother or sister brought their dogs over, she made it clear that it was her house. She ruled the house, and even at the end of her life, she was the queen of the house. The night before she passed, I sat with her, and as I cried, I told her that I knew her time with us was coming to an end. But we always missed her and loved her. I held her and I cried. It was not going to be easy to deal with her passing.

            However, this illustrates how the spirit works, as we were mourning KC, the shelter received a dog. His family surrendered him for no fault of his own. It was going to be six weeks until he would be up for adoption. My mom said if we get another dog, it would be named Chewy after Chewbacca or Yoda. We were mourning our sweet baby girl. I made it clear I did not want another pet because I could not go through this type of pain. But the house felt empty and hollow. The week my brother and dad were in the hospital, it was my brother Eric’s birthday. He was feeling down and was sad on his birthday. My mom had seen the photo of a dog named Yoda. She just fell in love with him. I had seen his picture. On my brother’s birthday, she said Let’s go to the shelter and look around. I was hesitant to do so, but I went with them. Mom led the way, and she was looking for Yoda when she saw him in the kennel. She pointed and said him. They brought him up for an interaction. I didn't want another pet, but he was a happy boy, and he wanted to get out and about. I knew it was for Eric’s birthday, and I said I had no opinion; I would deal with my feelings. It was during the interaction that I saw KC, down by my feet, and she said it was okay to share my love with another dog. She was giving her approval. I knew that he was meant for us.

He just wanted attention from everyone. We adopted him and had to wait for him to get his rabies shot. Then we could pick him up. Yoda is half Beagle and Australian Cattle Dog. He was so happy to come home. The night before, I spent time preparing for him, including his food and water dishes, as well as a spot to look out from the sliding glass door. I cried when he came home with us. He was a lonely pet in the house, until months later, we got a cat from the same shelter. Her name was Pepper, but we changed it to Leia after Princess Leia. She is my mom’s cat. Even though Yoda belongs to my brother and Leia belongs to my mom. They are everyone’s pets. When I have them together on my lap, I say, “I got my babies.” My grief was turned into love, and I shared that love with two awesome pets. I know they are not here for a long time. I take every advantage of snuggling, cuddling, and attention, and give them what I call Brother Time. I stop what I am doing, and I pet them and talk to them. My grief turned into love. I still miss KC, and nothing will change that.

This is just my story of loss; there is no wrong way to grieve the loss of a pet or loved one. We have to adjust to a life without them physically here. In doing so, we try to keep their memory alive. I donate to the shelter when I can, and I share their postings to empty the shelter and get all their animals adopted. I encourage people to adopt from shelters and foster animals instead of buying from a breeder. That is how I channeled my grief about our beloved KC. If you can fill your home with love by opening it to a pet, then you feel the blessings of loving an animal. 

How To Participate in Your Own Recovery

by Brian Warriner

            I am going to share my story with you all and how I participated in my own recovery. I entered therapy in 2022. Like everyone, I had a hell of a time during the pandemic. I was doing cyber school with my nephews, my aunt passed away unexpectedly, I was having health issues, plus my mom was going through cancer treatment for rectal cancer. It was a lot to handle, and I reached my limit. I entered therapy.

            I was lucky enough that my health insurance included mental health. It took some time to get assigned to a therapist. Then, after three sessions, my therapist left. I had to wait a couple of months till they hired and reassigned me to another therapist. I got reassigned to a new therapist, then I had a few sessions with them before they reassigned me to another therapist. It was interesting that my new therapist was a gay man who spoke truth to me. He had offered me many tools to implement.

            Additionally, the relationship that developed was therapeutic in nature. He would check me if I were out of line when I would talk about my actions and affirm me when I was doing the right thing. He listened and was present with me. Even though it was always a telephone session, I would ask him about things like Radical Acceptance, and he would send me some resources; we would then discuss how to implement it. He encouraged me to continue my advocacy for LGBTQIA+ Youth. But after over a year, we both felt that I had learned everything that I could in therapy. Additionally, he was taking a new job elsewhere. I honestly did not feel like waiting for another reassignment.

            I felt confident that I could handle whatever life threw my way. Before we parted ways, I realized that entering the mental health field was part of my calling. I began researching schools that offered degree programs in psychology and planned and implemented steps as I went along. I was accepted into Rowan College of South Jersey and began my associate's degree in September 2023. The school offers a 3+1 Program, which allows students who have completed their associate's degree to apply for enrollment. If you complete your junior year at a community college, then transfer to Rowan University for your Senior year. It was before I started school that I had the idea for this blog. The seeds were planted at that time and have slowly developed into what they are now. Right now, I am in my first semester of my junior year. I am slowly working towards getting my master’s degree in Clinical Mental Health Counseling.

            I knew entering school what I wanted to do, and I had goals along the way. But it is the first semester of my first year. My dad became gravely ill. It looked like he was not going to make it. All of my siblings gathered, and I struggled to do schoolwork, be at the hospital, and stay on top of everything. I had missed deadlines on assignments. I had emailed my professors to explain what was going on to them. I did not believe I would make it through the first semester. I was going to drop out and start the next semester. My family begged me not too, they saw how important it was to me. I told them it was for the best, and as I tried to withdraw from the classes. My family said to me, “You sit this out and help where you can. You need to focus on school.” With my family’s support, I sat at the dining room table every day and went to work. The goal shifted from getting straight A’s to just passing the classes by giving them the best that I could. I passed my classes that semester.

            During this time, the school provided free mental health counseling to all students. I was overcome with emotion when I called their hotline one night to speak with someone. The other person listened, offered words of comfort, and made sure I was okay before hanging up. I realized that I needed to go back to therapy. Because I felt like I missed something, I started looking for a therapist. The first therapist I found, I thought, would be a good fit. But all they did was look at the screen, and I would see them typing. There was no back and forth. I need a back-and-forth dialogue. I found my current therapist, who is a great fit. She listens and affirms when needed, questions me when she thinks I need to reconsider my behavior, and is always there when I need her.

            The importance of therapy is that you start speaking about what you are holding on to. You verbally get it out of your system while you develop the tools and knowledge to deal with those issues. You learn about your triggers and the reasons behind them. You get to work on journaling, showing up to therapy on time, and sharing with your therapist. But also, if you are referred to as a psychiatrist for medication, or you choose to try holistic methods, or a combination of both. With your practitioners, you must have mutual trust and respect for each other. You must be honest with your therapist as well as with yourself. You must be willing to improve and put in the necessary effort to do so. The choice is yours to make.

            I shared my story and how I have participated in my recovery, as well as how I continue to do so. I attend my therapy sessions, I journal, I meditate, and I have constant discussions with myself to talk myself out of the thoughts that would bring me down. I have learned that when I am having a depressive episode, I can feel it coming on. From there, I can ride the wave of it, then I find a way out of it. Once I do, I make sure to have an appointment with my therapist to review what happened. I also journal, as if it's going out of style. But I also spend time outside in the sun and fresh air, which seems to help when I need a natural mood booster. The best thing is being outside, sitting on my front porch, and having a nice breeze while just sitting there.

            I wish you well on your journey to recovery. I hope what you read in this post helps you in your journey.

To Participate in Your Own Recovery

         ·        You have to want to get help. Seeking help is one of the most important things you can do for yourself.

         ·        Make your appointments, show up on time, and be honest with your therapist. You will get nowhere without being honest.

         ·        Do the work that your therapist has for you, whether that is journaling daily, affirmations, or daily meditation. Please do it for yourself.

        ·        Take it easy on yourself; you won’t get anywhere if you are constantly hard on yourself. It defeats the purpose of you getting better and making changes in your life.

        ·        Be consistent with your therapy and the work you are doing. Do not be afraid to ask questions and talk about things you are confused about and struggle with.

        ·        You get out of therapy what you put into it. This is similar to getting sober. What you put into it, you will get out of it. You learn to adjust to being a new person.