Suicide Prevention: What You Need To Know

by Brian Warriner

            In my younger years, in my pre-adolescent years, I had contemplated completing suicide. However, I never followed through with it. I spoke about this in my blog post titled My Journey with Mental Illness: My Beginning. (link here). Nevertheless, I spoke to my school counselor, and my journey with mental illness started. I am thankful that I never completed suicide. Because of the life I would have missed out on, the things I achieved. Has it been a barrel of fun? No!

            Now you will see me using the term completed suicide rather than committed suicide. I want to change the dialogue around suicide. When a person has decided to end their life, they have completed the act of suicide. When you use the term committed it makes it sound like they committed a crime. The person did not commit anything. I believe the more we talk about it in these new terms, the more we change the narrative around suicide.

            The only experience I had with suicide, besides the thoughts I had, was when I was in middle school. A high school girl completed suicide. Why, I do not know. Only those close to her may or may not know. This was almost thirty years ago. For the protection of those involved, and to avoid bringing up memories. I will not mention her name. I remember there was talk, but that is life in a small town. I remember the silence, notice this when someone passes away; it feels like someone sucked all the sound out of the room. I had friends go to the funeral; in fact, most of the school went to pay their respects. I did not know her, and until someone pointed her out in the yearbook, I would never have known what she looked like.

            Beyond that experience, you hear how some celebrities have passed away due to completing suicide. This is mostly due to mental health issues like those of Naomi Judd, Robin Williams, and Freddie Prinze. There was a connection to mental illness that had brought them to take their lives. Naomi Judd spoke openly in time before her suicide about her mental health struggles. To see someone struggle with mental illness, and they see suicide as their only option. However, it is not the only option. This is where I will say that if you are experiencing mental illness and having suicidal thoughts or tendencies, please seek medical help right away.

What is Suicide?

            Suicide is the intentional and sometimes unintentional act of ending one’s own life by self-harm. Death that is caused by self-harm (Cleveland Clinic, 2021). When someone completes suicide by various means, the pain that is left behind is intense. The truth is some people may be in denial that their loved one completed suicide. It is because they did not show signs, or they ignored the signs, that someone was thinking about taking their own life. However, we will get into that more later.

            We all have had someone in our lives who has complete suicide. I think we all know where we were when we heard about Jason David Frank, Kurt Cobain, Robin Williams, and, if you are a K-pop follower, many K-pop singers have completed suicide. The common factor was that they had mental health issues such as depression or anxiety. In the case of Robin Williams, who had Lewy body Dementia. Carol Landis, an actress, and singer from the 1930s and 40s, who completed suicide after her married lover broke up with her and refused to marry her. She took pills in her bathroom and left a note. Jimmy Shields was the lifelong partner of actor turned interior designer William “Billy” Haines, after Billy’s death from cancer in 1973. Jimmy could not bear to live without his beloved. He taped a letter on his bedroom door, locked himself in, and completed suicide.

            Now, I am not promoting suicide. I believe that suicide is a quick answer to a long-term problem. I think we all have the strength to keep fighting and treating our mental health issues. However, I say this that some people, after they have done everything that they could do to treat their mental health. Nothing worked, and they feel they have no alternative but to complete suicide. This is truly a sad reality for many people.

Signs Someone is Suicidal

            When someone is contemplating suicide, they show signs, or they may have a history of suicide attempts. Alternatively, they have a history of self-harm. However, each group has similar signs and different ones. Whether childhood, adolescence, young adulthood, adulthood, or senior years. I know you are thinking to yourself, what children contemplate suicide? The answer is yes; it is not exclusive to one population.

            In younger children, they have changes in school performance, poor grades, changes in sleeping, excessive worry or anxiety, hyperactivity, persistent nightmares, persistent disobedience, and display frequent temper tantrums (Recognizing Warning Signs and How to Cope, 2024). These are the signs to look out for and keep an eye on. If you believe your child exhibits these signs, I encourage you to seek help from the school counselor or a psychologist.

            In older children and those who are preadolescent, they might engage in substance abuse, changes in sleeping and eating habits, excessive complaints of physical ailments, changes in ability to manage responsibilities at home and school, defiance of authority, truancy, theft and vandalism, and intense fear (Recognizing Warning Signs and How to Cope, 2024). It is possible that they might not be contemplating suicide, but they are showing signs of mental health issues. Please consult with a mental health professional for further evaluation.

            In adolescence, young adulthood, and adulthood, they may exhibit the following signs like confused thinking, prolonged sadness, and irritability, feeling extreme high and lows, excessive fears, worries, and anxieties, social withdrawal, dramatic changes in eating or sleeping, strong feelings of anger, strange thoughts/ delusions, hallucinations, growing inability to cope with daily activities, thoughts of self-harm, substance abuse/ use, unexplainable physical ailments (Recognizing Warning Signs and How to (Cope, 2024).

            I cannot stress this enough to all my readers: if you or someone you know is experiencing these signs, seek help for yourself and for them. Suicide is a preventable and serious public health problem.

Strategies to Prevent Suicide

            As a society and as a community, we have the responsibility to prevent suicide. To know how and to have the government's assistance in what to do in preventing suicide. The Centers for Disease Control/ CDC have put out on their website a set of strategies for the prevention of suicide, which, honestly, not many people know about. As I reviewed the list, I noticed things that the government should be doing, for example, strengthening economic support like improved household financial security, stabilizing housing, and improving access to suicide care. There are things as a community that we can do in tandem with government assistance. For example, teach coping and problem skills, promote health connections, create protective environments, identify and support people at risk, and lessen harm to prevent future risks (CDC, 2022).

            If a loved one or a stranger says they are considering suicide. Please do not brush it off as an offhand comment. Take the person seriously, stay with them, and help remove lethal means. That means remove anything that could be used as an instrument of self-harm. I do not care if it is a shoestring or a belt. It needs to be removed. Call 988, the suicide and crisis hotline, or text 741741 to the crisis text line, escort them to the emergency room, or to a mental health professional. This is the best thing you can do for them. Nonetheless, please do not leave them until they are in the right space, such as an emergency room (What to do When Someone is a Risk, n.d).

            If a loved one confesses to you that they have attempted to or self-harmed, or is even thinking about suicide. You can have honest conversations with them. I will stress here that you do not try to debate or offer advice. Please do not try to minimize their problems. Just listen to them. Talk to them in private, listen to their story, tell them you care, and reassure them that you care. Please encourage them to seek treatment or contact their doctor/ therapist. If they feel like they will attempt suicide, take them to the emergency room. They are given priority because a possible suicide attempt or mental health crisis goes ahead of the line.  The hospital has protocols to deal with mental health crises. Once they are admitted for a seventy-two-hour psychiatric hold or to a safe environment, you can then leave (What to do When Someone is a Risk, n.d).

            Being in this kind of situation is scary and can be hard to deal with. If you find yourself in this situation, listen to them, if you cannot get them to a safe space. Because they refuse to, they need to, especially if the counselor on the crisis line or their therapist said it is needed. Call the police and tell them you have found someone here on a possible suicide attempt, and they need to be taken to the hospital. They will arrive and secure the scene for the person to be evaluated by a paramedic. If they do not want to go, it is the best thing for them. They might say things and make threats, but do not take them seriously. They are lashing out at you. As long as they are in safe hands and the police and paramedics can handle the situation, it is okay to remove yourself from the situation.

Statistics of Suicide

            When it comes to suicide by numbers, the sad truth is that males are at a higher risk of completing suicide than females. The following numbers are based on the number of people who have died by suicide per 100,000 population. In 2023, the number of suicide deaths was four times higher in males (22.8 per 100,000) than in females (5.9 per 100,000) (NIMH-Suicide, 2024).

            According to the numbers from the National Institute of Mental Health, in 2000, suicide deaths increased 35% starting at 10.4 per 100,000 to 14.2 per 100,000 in 2018. Then declined to 13.9 per 100,000 in 2019, with a slight decline in 2020 to 13.5 per 100,000. With the pandemic, the number of deaths by suicide increased 14.0 per 100,000 in 2021. The numbers increased slightly in 2022 to 14.2 per 100,000, then decreased slightly to 14.1 per 100,000 in 2023 (NIMH-Suicide, 2024).

Changing the Dialogue on Suicide

            Now, throughout this post, I have said things like completed suicide instead of committed. I have talked for years about the need to change the dialogue surrounding how we talk about suicide. This is not to glamorize it, but to get people to change their thinking. Suicide is never the answer. Those who are experiencing mental health issues or a crisis need to know that there is help available and that we need to seek it out. Unfortunately, it will not come to us. We should not stop seeking help. Because our lives matter, and the hell we are going through will pass. We need to get tools to cope with our mental health issues. That is the reason for this blog’s existence: to offer as many alternatives and recommendations as possible for you to try. As well as advocate for you to work in tandem with your mental health provider/ therapist, psychiatrist, or psychologist.

            When someone completes suicide, it is almost a guarantee that they have a history of suicide attempts that you may or may not be aware of, when someone makes comments about suicide, that should be the first clue to worry. Please do not laugh them off or say things like, “Stop saying that”, “You are crazy”. They are making a last-ditch effort not to follow through with the attempt.

            Sometimes, your loved one may not even discuss, say anything, or show warning signs that they are about to complete suicide. They may have a smile, make plans, have set long-term goals, and seem to be okay. Literally could be here this week and be gone by next week. The sad truth is that some people are quiet when it comes to their own pain. Because they do not want to be a burden, feel weak, or anything else. The truth is the burden they do not want to be is what they become when they complete the act of suicide. I say this because they leave behind pain, grief, and so much more. The truth is, when someone has made up their mind about suicide, they will keep it a secret until they do it.

            I am reminded of the episode of The Golden Girls, titled “Not Another Day”, when Sophia’s friend Martha plans to complete suicide. She takes Sophia out to dinner to ask her. Sophia shows up to talk her out of it. Just as Martha checks her list, Sophia starts talking to her and gets her to change her mind (Hughes, 1989). My advice is to talk to people if you feel like completing suicide or trying. No, it is not attention-seeking behavior. This is too serious to chalk up to someone seeking attention or you not taking them seriously. Because you could end up saving someone’s life, whether it is yours or a loved one's, it matters.

 

 

References

Cleveland Clinic. (2021). Suicide: What it is, Signs, Risk Factors, and Prevention. Cleveland Clinic.

            https://my.clevelandclinic.org/health/articles/suicide

Recognizing Warning Signs and How to Cope| Mental Health America. (2024). Mental Health America

            https://mhanational.org/resources/recognizing-warning-signs-and-how-to-cope/

CDC. (2022) Prevention Strategies. www.cdc.gov. https://www.cdc.gov/suicide/prevention.index.html

What to do When Someone is a Risk. (n.d). American Foundation for Suicide Prevention.

            https://afsp.org/what-to-do-when-someone-is-a-risk|

NIMH-Suicide. (2024, February). National Institute of Mental Health. www.nimh.gov.

            https://www.nimh.gov/health/statisitcs/suicide#part_2557

Hughes, T. (1989, November 11). The Golden Girls. Season 5, Episode 7. [Review of The Golden Girls].

            NBC.

Click on the link to download the PDF of the CDC's Suicide Prevention Resource Action

Suicide Prevention Resource Action- CDC
 

Art Therapy: How Being Creative Helps Treat Mental Health

 by Brian Warriner

            I can speak from my experience that being a creative is healing. Whatever your medium is, you feel something when you are working with your hands or creating something. For me, when I was going through a dark time in my life, I turned to creative therapy. I had lost my job and was collecting unemployment, but I did not receive much. I was in school for massage therapy. I started making yarn wreaths, ornaments, and God’s eyes, and I was enjoying creating art. I gave these away as Christmas gifts because I could not afford to buy gifts. The fact that I did not have space for them.

            Years later, I wanted to learn to crochet and knit. I was given kits that taught me. I struggled with crochet because of the tremors I live with. Knitting has become an issue for me because of the tremors. I started to knit scarves, and I donated them to those who are less fortunate. I currently have over twenty-five scarves that I made last year in a vacuum-sealed bag that I am donating to Knit the Rainbow. An organization based in NYC that provides homemade knitwear to LGBTQIA+ Homeless Youth. This was an organization that came to me when I heard about it on social media. I wanted to knit more for them, but I have limited space, and these tremors make it difficult to hold the needles or the loom to knit. Donating my knitwear fills me with joy and purpose. I shared pictures of them on social media. I was also given an opportunity to knit baby blankets for babies born asleep. I researched the sizes that are needed. It was confusing because I could not figure out what was what. Then I had family members become pregnant, and I wanted to make baby blankets for them. However, I struggled to figure out the size and a suitable pattern. However, things happened, and I was unable to complete the blankets, struggling with the beginning.

            My mental health and being creative were something I found peace in. I would sit in my chair or in my bed, and I would knit, listening to my iPod. I would watch something on YouTube or another platform. I would knit and zone out, and it was just funny how the time would pass. Sometimes I would knit and feel myself fall asleep.

What is Art Therapy

            Now you might be thinking, What is Art Therapy, and why should I care about this?

            Art therapy is a mental health profession that includes art and creative making mixed with applied psychological theory, human experience, within the therapeutic relationship between the client and the art therapist. Art therapy is meant to enrich and treat their mental health issues (AATA, 2022). You create art and are given tools to allow your creativity to take you to that space. It is a space that those who are artists and creatives enter when they create. You cannot break them out of it. I call it the zone.

            When you are in the zone, time flies by, and you have created something awesome, whether it is painting, pottery, knitting, making soap, or whatever your heart's desire. The project may take some time to complete, but it is something worthwhile. Then you move on to the next project and so on. My closet is filled with the work that I created. I would like to have it professionally photographed for a collection of my work. When I can sell my artwork, then there will be a record of what I have created. However, I have in my will that some of my artwork, journals, writings, and copies of my books will go to the John A. Wilcox Archive at the William Way Center. I am doing my part to preserve my work for future generations. That is for when I am long gone from this world.

Benefits

            The benefits of art therapy are amazing. In the sense that it engages your mind to be creative, it allows you to tap into that space within that can cause an emotional response or expression. You look at the blank canvas and ask yourself, what do I need to release from this situation. Even pick out a color and use different shades of that color. Moreover, just let yourself go. When you are done, look at what you have created. You may feel many things at once; that is okay. However, you may feel stress relief, improved self-awareness, enhanced communication, and you will have support for your mental health (Scott, 2024).

            Art Therapy can also promote healing. It promotes healing by giving expression to emotions that are difficult to express in words (Himas, 2024) as you allow your art to be the words that you could not express. You create the art that represents what you are going through, your mental state, whether you are dealing with depression, anxiety, or your emotional state, whatever that state might be, it can reflect in your art. Is that what artists are striving for? The mirror in which we have experienced and lived our lives.

Connection Between Creativity and Mental Health

            When an individual engages in a creative activity, their cognitive flexibility starts to work. They engage in their problem-solving skills, experiment with the tools, take different approaches in their work, and take risks. As such, it enhances their general self-efficacy and contributes to their positive mental health outcomes. Being creative encourages the individual to think outside the box. When you explore innovative solutions to their problems and situations in life (Jean-Berluche, 2024). The tools you learn in your art therapy are transferable to your everyday life.

            Being creative gives you a new set of tools that allow you to move the pieces around and see how they fit differently. You learn the process and then make it yours by exploring from different angles. If you were not a risk-taker before, you will learn that a little risk is like taking a leap of faith. That may be the leap we need to create change in our lives, as well as with mental illness.

            Incorporating creativity into your life is relatively easy. There are many ways you can engage in art therapy or creative therapy. You can start a new hobby, such as diamond painting or knitting, express yourself through writing, listening to music, dance, or engage in crafting. However, you can also bake or cook (Center, 2025). If you do not want the treats to go to waste, consider donating them to first responders, schools, the elderly, or local churches. It is beneficial if you know the church is having a bake sale, you bake whatever and then donate to the bake sale. I do that with my knitting. The best thing is, if you are doing it for fun and you do not sell your items. Then, donate them to a cause, such as making hats and gloves for cancer patients or the homeless. There are many organizations out there that will benefit from your art and creative therapy.

 

 

References

Scott, F. (2024, January 12). How to Release Stress with Art Therapy. Very Well Mind.

            https://www.verywellmind.com/art-therapy-relieve-stress-by-being-creative-3144581

Himas, R. (2024, September 25). The Role of Art Therapy in Emotional Healing. Mental Health Centers.

            https://www.mentalhealthcenters.org/the-role-of-art-therapy-in-emotional-health/

American Art Therapy Association. (2022). What is Art Therapy? American Art Therapy Association.

            https://arttherapy.org/what-is-art-therapy

Jean-Berluche, D. (2024). Creative Expression and Mental Health. Journal of Creativity. 34(2), 1-6.

            https://doi.org/j.yjoc.2024.100083

Center, M.H. (2025, May 19). The Connection Between Creativity and Mental Health|

            Mental Health Center. https://www.mentalhealthctr.com/the-connection-between-creativity-and-mental-health/

Journaling in Childhood: The Benefits of Teaching Your Children to Journal

 by Brian Warriner

             When I was a child, I attended Russell Elementary School in Camp Lejeune, North Carolina. In my first-grade class, we would have a few minutes at the beginning of the day, and we would write in our journals. There was a girl in my class who would write two full pages. I could barely get a couple of sentences. Then we would share our journals. This was something that stuck with me. I did not start journaling until later in life. In middle school, I tried to journal, but I made the stupid mistake of leaving it in class, and people read it. I learned the hard way and stopped until I was in my twenties. However, when I was working in a Pre-K classroom, I had to compile the kids' journals. It was this blank grey paper that I had to count out the pages and then hole punch. Then put it in a folder with the prongs. We would put it out on the floor. We would direct the students to their journals. The students would draw a picture and then tell us what the picture represented. We would write it out in a sentence. That was how we journaled.

            From these moments, journaling stayed with me. I found it interesting that Queen Victoria, as a young girl, kept a diary. She wrote in her diary daily until she could not write anymore. Towards the end of her life, her daughter Princess Beatrice wrote her diary for her while her mom dictated to her. It was after Queen Victoria’s death that Beatrice edited her mother’s diaries and destroyed some of them due to the content of her mother's writings. In the aftermath of Prince Albert’s death, she spent the majority of her time in the Scottish Highlands and Balmoral. Her diaries of that time were published, thanks to her companion John Brown. This was a great disgrace to her family, who hated John Brown for not treating her like the queen, but rather like a person. At her death, Queen Victoria had written over 60 million words in her diaries, stretching over 141 volumes (Queen Victoria’s Diary, n.d).

            When I started to journal, I created close to 100 different journals for all different themes for any journal lover. It felt like a natural progression in my passion for journaling. As part of my mental health career, my advocacy is to encourage people to start journaling. I believe it is a great tool for children to employ. They can write about how they are feeling in their own language, and then share it with their parents, who can explain to them what feelings like sadness, happiness, depression, or anger mean. If possible, help them express those feelings in healthy ways. Unfortunately, not many parents themselves have healthy habits when it comes to expressing their feelings. I would like to see this become a way to help children gain more empathy and stronger, well-developed emotional intelligence. Honestly, I have thought about this for decades. When my beloved grandmom passed away in 1995, I did not understand the feelings I was having—the grief, the tears, and the emptiness that came with the loss of a loved one. My mom and the adults around me at the time tried their best to explain it to me while they were going through their own grief. So, I understood as best as I could at the time. It was something that I had to grow into learning. When I was growing up, there were no lessons on identifying and understanding my feelings and emotions.

            I worked with children in pre-K, kindergarten, and first grade. I appreciate that some teachers incorporate journaling into their lessons. The benefits and the lessons are a great tool for all students.

How To Start a Journaling Practice

            There are so many reasons to get children into journaling. I want to preface this by saying journaling is not for everyone. However, those who start a journaling practice feel the benefits and clarity that come with journaling. First and foremost, you want to tailor your journaling practice for your child. If your child has not learned to write, then you can do the writing for them. Begin with one or two sentences when they are in the first grade and have developed their handwriting skills. They can write on their own. I have never been fond of new digital journals. I am old school, pen to paper, for the organic feeling and how everything flows from my brain to the page.

            Whether you send your child to school or homeschool them, set aside some time to allow them to start journaling. If you do not know how to start, then use a prompt. This is an idea to spark their inspiration. Maintain the routine with consistency by doing it at the same time every day. Use a tool called habit stacking, where they grab their journal, pick their prompt, and use it for handwriting practice. I find that if you miss one or two days, that is fine, but you have to keep going (Bence, 2023). The key to developing and maintaining your routine is consistency. Stay with it, it will pay off.

            For children, as I stated, it is a great way to build emotional intelligence. With the world in such a hateful state that it is, giving our children the tools to identify, express emotions, and develop empathy can help change the world. While we are helping our children enhance their self-regulation, boost, and build resilience. As cruel children can be to each other, it can make the cruelty that adults show to each other look like child’s play. Getting children to journal and using these tools will help make processing the emotions of their lives easier (Queen, 2024).

            Journaling for children can improve literacy, enhance vocabulary, encourage creative writing, personal expression, and enhance emotional intelligence (Queen, 2024). As children grow up, these skills will help them throughout their lives. By encouraging your children to write, you may inspire them to become the next Stephen King, James Patterson, or Stephanie Myers. I love creative writing and just creating storylines and plots. It is something amazing.

Benefits

            The benefits of journaling for children are teaching them a set of life skills that they can employ. Especially when they are going through tough times, it can help reduce stress and anxiety, it can encourage emotional expression, and improve self-regulation and behavioral health. As such, they will develop a sense of self-esteem, self-awareness, and confidence in themselves. Journaling supports mental health recovery, improves focus, and academic performance (Kidsville Pediatrics, 2024).

            You got your child journaling, and after a few weeks or months, you noticed something happening. Your child’s academic performance in school has gotten better. Their memory has improved, and they are becoming more effective at achieving their goals (Bence, 2023). The more important thing is that they are enhancing their critical thinking skills. As they get older and enter higher education, they will use this skill. They will also learn to think outside the box more.

            Encouraging your children to start a journaling routine and staying with it would do a world of good for them. Especially when you are helping them and explaining what they are feeling, it is natural, and this is how you can express it. Moreover, it might open a dialogue between you and your child. When you speak about their entries, it can help improve their communication skills. Furthermore, how they can articulate ideas and know that your child is hurting, happy, upset, or going through things can help you help them. I believe that what parents want more than anything is to know how their kid is doing.

            This does not have to be a serious activity. Make it fun, have your child pick their journal, or you can create one. Have them decorate it. You can use a sketchbook and give them space to make a collage, doodle, and create a story. Give them space to be quiet and let them write or draw. As the parent or teacher, be supportive and respectful to encourage a share. It will help them open up.

Do’s and Don’ts

            There are not a lot of dos and don’ts when it comes to encouraging children to start journaling. It is not a serious activity. What you want to do is start them as early as they can write. You will want to explain to them what journaling is and how fun it is. Give them space to write and set an environment that nurtures their interest in journaling (Gibbs, 2023).

            You do not want to force them into it. If they do not want to write a journal entry, they do not have to. In a classroom setting, if they do not want to write in their journal. Please encourage them to draw a picture or sit quietly so as not to disturb their neighbors. When it comes to sharing their entries, it is entirely up to the child (Gibbs, 2023).

Prompts for Journaling for Children

       ·        Draw something fun

       ·        Write about something that makes you sad

       ·        What is something that brings you joy?

       ·        What is your favorite animal?

       ·        Draw three patterns using shapes.

        ·        What is on your mind today?

        ·        Do you have a pet? If so, write about your pet.

        ·        When you see a falling star in the sky, what feelings do you feel?

        ·        Draw a picture of your family

        ·        Draw yourself as a superhero

        ·        Write about a day that you were happy

        ·        You blinked and are back in the time of the dinosaurs, write about what dinosaurs you see.

        ·        What is your favorite food?

        ·        Write about your favorite holiday and why it is your favorite.

        ·        Write about your favorite book. Why do you like it?

 

 

These are the journals I designed for children. They are 8in x 11in, 60 pages. If you wish to purchase one of these journals for your children or classroom, please use the link below.

https://www.lulu.com/search?page=1&sortBy=RELEVANCE&q=Brian+Warriner&pageSize=10&adult_audience_rating=00&language=eng&category=Children%27s

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

References

Queen Victoria’s Diary. (n.d). www.rct.uk. https://www.rct.uk/resources/diary-victorias-diary

Bence, S. (2013, June 27). The Benefits of Creating a Journaling Routine. Very Well Health.

            https://www.verywellhealth.com/journaling-7498123

Queen. (2024 February 4). The Transformative Power of Journaling for Children.

            The Little Raindrops Club. https://thelittleraindropsclub.com/benefits-fo-journaling-for-children/

Kidsville Pediatrics. (2024, December 19). 10 Amazing Benefits of Journaling for Kids.

Kidsville Pediatrics. https://www.kidsvillepediatrics.com/blog/1257641-10-amazing-benefits-of-journaling-for-kids/

Gibbs, A. (2023, September 9). Journaling for Kids: Expert Tips to Help Them Thrive, Traps to Avoid.

            Newsweek. https://www.newsweek.com/journaling-kids-expert-tips-help-them-thrive-traps-avoid-1824282

Anxiety and Negative Self-Talk

 by Brian Warriner

            I know the old saying, “We are our own worst enemy.” Moreover, it is true. When my mind goes haywire after an incident or a situation, the negative thoughts that I have are enough to kill any mood. I recall a time when I thought I had everything together to buy a car. When I was trying to get the car I wanted, I did not have enough and had to redo my loan. The second time, I was test-driving another car because the one I was going to buy had been sold. I had the loan paperwork ready, but it did not feel right. The third time, everything was in order except the insurance. I later found out they could have delivered the car to my address. I was so defeated, the negative self-talk of, “You are a brainless piece of shit”, “You have no idea what you are doing, you are so dumb it is not funny.” It went on and on, and I felt like crap. I made comments that scared people. I was so depressed that I was locked in my room and was upset about not being able to obtain my goal. I saw it as freedom - the list of things I had planned to do once I got my car. I could afford to go to work without having to use Uber or rely on my brother. It was this experience that I was beaten down.

            Throughout my life, I have had experiences where I have mentally abused myself. All the negative self-talk and thoughts that I said to myself. My self-esteem was trash, and I struggled with a lot. Unfortunately, today I still struggle with a lot. I still have that negative voice in my head. It is called a trap. When you convince yourself of the negative, and when you believe it, you fall into the trap. From my experience, it is a dark place to be. Once you are there, it is sometimes difficult to get out of. Just as you talked yourself into the trap with negative self-talk, you must reprogram your mind for positivity. It is part of the balance.

What is Negative Self-talk?

            Negative self-talk is that voice that punishes you for anything you do. If you tell yourself something repeatedly, then you start to believe it. It is a toxic relationship one can have with oneself. That voice inside could be mean, critical, and downright rude. I can make you feel hopeless, and you will start to believe that you are hopeless, defeated, and apathetic (Scott, 2023). It is true that when you repeat something to yourself, your mind will believe it. Because the words create the world around you, your mind reacts to your words. Dolores Cannon said that our minds are so powerful that we can think ourselves into sickness. I believe this because if you are one of those people who say, “My husband is a pain in the neck.” Eventually, you start having neck pain. The doctors cannot seem to find the source of it. It is because you are the source of your neck pain when you say, “My husband is a pain in the neck.”

            As a massage therapist, I knew this, and when I had clients complain about a pain in their neck, back, or arm. When a client told me they were experiencing pain somewhere, I would ask them, 'I am going to ask you a question. I want you to say the first thing that comes to mind.' “Who is being a pain in the neck?” Once they answer, I would say take a deep breath in and out three times as I massaged the area. It would release that pain.

            As an energy master, everything starts in the aura, which is your energy field. It is the invisible eggshell that surrounds our bodies. When there is an issue with the aura, we start having medical issues. We are the ones who talk ourselves into sickness, as Dolores Cannon said.

            When it comes to negative self-talk, it can cause worsening anxiety, depression, PTSD, Psychosis, OCD, and Social Anxiety (Scott, 2023). It can also be lonely, because no one wants to be around someone who constantly says, they are the worst, they are no good, why do they keep living. Negative self-talk can cause you to push people away and alienate them from ever wanting to associate with you.

Anxiety

            Now, let us say that because of your negative self-talk, you develop anxiety. Anxiety is a disorder that comes with symptoms such as excessive worry, fatigue, panic attacks, paranoia, and sleep disturbances (Christensen, 2021). For me, anxiety is made worse because I have severe obstructive sleep apnea and some nights of insomnia. Sometimes it can manifest physically, because mental disorders can also cause physical symptoms like chest pains, headaches, shaking, sweating, and increased heart rate (Christensen, 2021).

            This is why many are confused when they enter the emergency room with these physical symptoms and are told it is anxiety. You are not crazy. Whenever someone hears anxiety, depression, psychology, or psychiatry, they think they themselves or a loved one is not crazy. When it is so much more than that, it is like they are offended by the notion. The truth is, at some point in our lives, we or someone we know may experience a mental health crisis. For example, those innocent people in Gaza who are going through their own Holocaust. Those who survive it will most likely, if not guaranteed, have PTSD or an anxiety disorder.

            Anxiety can lead to depression, worsening mental health crisis, and decline.

Ways to Reduce Negative Self-talk

            There are ways to reduce negative self-talk, such as journaling, meditation, exercise, deep breathing, and spirituality. These are holistic in their approach to combat anxiety and negative self-talk. You can also speak to your mental health provider and seek behavioral therapy (Christensen, 2021). Behavioral therapy may also contain thought reframing. Where you alter the way you process your thoughts by seeing them and saying them in a positive manner.

            Beyond these, try to socialize with like-minded people, pick up a book and read, and even start a new hobby. In my experience, being creative helps me overcome negative self-talk. It silences that voice or temporarily turns it off. If you are not one for exercise, then go for a walk around your neighborhood. Anything you can do to get your body up and moving is what you need to do (Christensen, 2021).

            Whatever process you take to retrain your brain, make sure you show yourself kindness and be easy on yourself. There are already too many people being hard on themselves; you do not need to add to the pressure by being overly critical of yourself (Marone, 2021).

            In conclusion, negative self-talk and anxiety go hand in hand. They are a dangerous pair, and yet they can be overcome by retraining your brain, learning to be kinder to yourself, stopping the negative dialogue, and replacing it with something positive. If negative self-talk is your negative affirmation, then it is time to change it into a positive one.

 

 

 

 

 

References

Scott, F (2022, November 22). The Toxic Effects of Negative Self-talk. Very Well Mind.

            https://www.verywellmind.com/negative-self-talk-and-how-it-affects-us-4161304

Christensen, J. (2021, February 10). Tips to Help Ease Anxiety. Mayo Clinic Health System.

             https://www.maycoclinichealthsystem.org/hometown-health/speaking-of-health/tips-to-help-ease-anxiety

Maron, L. (2021, September 10). Combating Social Anxiety and Negative Self-Talk. Psychology Today.

            https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/gaining-andsustaining/202109/combating-social-anxiety-and-negative-self-talk?msockid=3c615a7a3ec3684126f04bdc3fda69d9