by Brian Warriner
I
know the old saying, “We are our own worst enemy.” Moreover, it is true. When
my mind goes haywire after an incident or a situation, the negative thoughts
that I have are enough to kill any mood. I recall a time when I thought I had
everything together to buy a car. When I was trying to get the car I wanted, I did
not have enough and had to redo my loan. The second time, I was test-driving
another car because the one I was going to buy had been sold. I had the loan
paperwork ready, but it did not feel right. The third time, everything was in
order except the insurance. I later found out they could have delivered the car
to my address. I was so defeated, the negative self-talk of, “You are a
brainless piece of shit”, “You have no idea what you are doing, you are so dumb
it is not funny.” It went on and on, and I felt like crap. I made comments that
scared people. I was so depressed that I was locked in my room and was upset
about not being able to obtain my goal. I saw it as freedom - the list of
things I had planned to do once I got my car. I could afford to go to work
without having to use Uber or rely on my brother. It was this experience that I
was beaten down.
Throughout
my life, I have had experiences where I have mentally abused myself. All the
negative self-talk and thoughts that I said to myself. My self-esteem was
trash, and I struggled with a lot. Unfortunately, today I still struggle with a
lot. I still have that negative voice in my head. It is called a trap. When you
convince yourself of the negative, and when you believe it, you fall into the
trap. From my experience, it is a dark place to be. Once you are there, it is
sometimes difficult to get out of. Just as you talked yourself into the trap
with negative self-talk, you must reprogram your mind for positivity. It is
part of the balance.
What is Negative Self-talk?
Negative
self-talk is that voice that punishes you for anything you do. If you tell
yourself something repeatedly, then you start to believe it. It is a toxic
relationship one can have with oneself. That voice inside could be mean,
critical, and downright rude. I can make you feel hopeless, and you will start
to believe that you are hopeless, defeated, and apathetic (Scott, 2023). It is
true that when you repeat something to yourself, your mind will believe it.
Because the words create the world around you, your mind reacts to your words. Dolores
Cannon said that our minds are so powerful that we can think ourselves into
sickness. I believe this because if you are one of those people who say, “My
husband is a pain in the neck.” Eventually, you start having neck pain. The
doctors cannot seem to find the source of it. It is because you are the source
of your neck pain when you say, “My husband is a pain in the neck.”
As a
massage therapist, I knew this, and when I had clients complain about a pain in
their neck, back, or arm. When a client told me they were experiencing pain
somewhere, I would ask them, 'I am going to ask you a question. I want you to
say the first thing that comes to mind.' “Who is being a pain in the neck?”
Once they answer, I would say take a deep breath in and out three times as I
massaged the area. It would release that pain.
As an
energy master, everything starts in the aura, which is your energy field. It is
the invisible eggshell that surrounds our bodies. When there is an issue with
the aura, we start having medical issues. We are the ones who talk ourselves
into sickness, as Dolores Cannon said.
When
it comes to negative self-talk, it can cause worsening anxiety, depression,
PTSD, Psychosis, OCD, and Social Anxiety (Scott, 2023). It can also be lonely,
because no one wants to be around someone who constantly says, they are the
worst, they are no good, why do they keep living. Negative self-talk can cause
you to push people away and alienate them from ever wanting to associate with
you.
Anxiety
Now,
let us say that because of your negative self-talk, you develop anxiety.
Anxiety is a disorder that comes with symptoms such as excessive worry,
fatigue, panic attacks, paranoia, and sleep disturbances (Christensen, 2021).
For me, anxiety is made worse because I have severe obstructive sleep apnea and
some nights of insomnia. Sometimes it can manifest physically, because mental
disorders can also cause physical symptoms like chest pains, headaches,
shaking, sweating, and increased heart rate (Christensen, 2021).
This
is why many are confused when they enter the emergency room with these physical
symptoms and are told it is anxiety. You are not crazy. Whenever someone hears
anxiety, depression, psychology, or psychiatry, they think they themselves or a
loved one is not crazy. When it is so much more than that, it is like they are
offended by the notion. The truth is, at some point in our lives, we or someone
we know may experience a mental health crisis. For example, those innocent
people in Gaza who are going through their own Holocaust. Those who survive it
will most likely, if not guaranteed, have PTSD or an anxiety disorder.
Anxiety can lead to depression, worsening mental health crisis, and decline.
Ways to Reduce Negative Self-talk
There
are ways to reduce negative self-talk, such as journaling, meditation,
exercise, deep breathing, and spirituality. These are holistic in their
approach to combat anxiety and negative self-talk. You can also speak to your
mental health provider and seek behavioral therapy (Christensen, 2021). Behavioral
therapy may also contain thought reframing. Where you alter the way you process
your thoughts by seeing them and saying them in a positive manner.
Beyond
these, try to socialize with like-minded people, pick up a book and read, and
even start a new hobby. In my experience, being creative helps me overcome
negative self-talk. It silences that voice or temporarily turns it off. If you
are not one for exercise, then go for a walk around your neighborhood. Anything
you can do to get your body up and moving is what you need to do (Christensen,
2021).
Whatever
process you take to retrain your brain, make sure you show yourself kindness
and be easy on yourself. There are already too many people being hard on themselves;
you do not need to add to the pressure by being overly critical of yourself
(Marone, 2021).
In
conclusion, negative self-talk and anxiety go hand in hand. They are a
dangerous pair, and yet they can be overcome by retraining your brain, learning
to be kinder to yourself, stopping the negative dialogue, and replacing it with
something positive. If negative self-talk is your negative affirmation, then it
is time to change it into a positive one.
References
Scott, F (2022, November 22). The Toxic Effects of
Negative Self-talk. Very Well Mind.
https://www.verywellmind.com/negative-self-talk-and-how-it-affects-us-4161304
Christensen, J. (2021, February 10). Tips to Help Ease
Anxiety. Mayo Clinic Health System.
https://www.maycoclinichealthsystem.org/hometown-health/speaking-of-health/tips-to-help-ease-anxiety
Maron, L. (2021, September 10). Combating Social
Anxiety and Negative Self-Talk. Psychology Today.
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