by Brian Warriner
My
Story with Therapy
Therapy, also known as psychotherapy
or psychoanalysis, is when you discuss the issues and achievements with a
mental health professional. This dialogue can open the person up to tools and
direction. When you are open to therapy, you are opening yourself up to change.
In 2021, I entered therapy because I had thoughts that made me think I was
Bipolar. My mom was going through a major health battle. As her caregiver, it
was difficult. I was dealing with a lot, my aunt passed away unexpectedly
months prior. It wasn't easy to deal with. But I was dealing with a lot from
the past. I have been dealing with mental health and physical health issues. I
was feeling very overwhelmed and on the verge of a breakdown. I am thankful that
my insurance covered it. It took a while to be assigned a therapist, then once
I had one, it was after two sessions that my therapist left. I needed to wait
for a new therapist. Then I had to see someone who was also a therapist and
psychologist.
The therapist I was assigned to was
also gay, and he made me feel comfortable enough to be open with him. He was
able to help me. It was during this time that I realized I was meant to attend
school and pursue my degree in Clinical Mental Health Counseling. He was
instrumental in helping me come to terms with my purpose. I started the process
with school, and I started preparing for school. But my time with him was
short. He and I both felt I had progressed enough to end therapy.
In 2023, after our family lost our
fur baby KC, my dad and brother were in the hospital. Later in 2023, as I
started my education path, my dad almost died. He was rushed to the hospital,
and everyone arrived because it looked like he was going to die. I contemplated
dropping out because I couldn’t focus on school. I struggled with schoolwork.
But my family let me step back to focus on school. I struggled emotionally and
mentally. My school offered free mental health counseling through an
organization called Uwill. I started therapy again. At first, my therapist
wasn’t the best; he only offered video sessions. He didn’t talk or engage with
me. He would be quiet and type. I was able to switch my therapist.
My therapist connected with me, and
she offers phone sessions. We have a back and forth, and it challenges me to
look at something with both eyes. To me, that is what therapy is about:
challenging you, exploring thoughts, feelings, and emotions, as well as
developing tools to help you get to the root of the issues. When I entered
therapy, my aim has always been to get to the root of my mental health issues.
And from there, understand how to deactivate my triggers by dealing with them.
And you find your empowerment, happiness, and your confidence in yourself.
Instead of looking outside of yourself.
Therapy was and is my saving grace.
Why
Enter Therapy
The reasons why someone enters therapy are often personal and stress-induced. The reason why I entered therapy a second time was that I was dealing with a lot of stress from my dad being in the hospital and almost dying. But it has also led me to realize I still have issues to deal with. Journaling has been a part of my journey long before I entered therapy. To this day, I journal (which you can read about on my blog). It’s one of those things that has become one of my many passions.
When things are rough, mentally
taxing, and draining, life can become unbearable. This goes across the board
for everyone. Couples are going to therapy to get to the root of what went
wrong in their relationships. People enter support groups such as Alcoholics
Anonymous or PFLAG. These support groups are like therapy because you are
working toward sobriety or support. There are many different support groups for
many populations. All aimed at supporting you through your journey. It’s
considered group therapy. Having a support system is important when going
through therapy. Having the right therapist is also important, as I discuss
later in this post.
The first clue I knew I needed to
enter therapy was realizing that I couldn’t handle the stressors of life. It
felt like a constant tsunami wave that was constantly hitting me. When I tried
to catch my breath, I felt like I was overtaken. Regardless of how much I
journaled, cried, and tried to take a breath. Nothing I did could help me. One
night I had to call the Uwill Hotline because I was losing my mind. They helped
me calm down, and from there, I was able to focus on my schoolwork. I knew from
that moment on that I had to go back into therapy. It was again the best
decision that I made.
Having someone to talk to for 30 minutes
or an hour does help you develop the skills we need to cope with stress. I
understand that different cultures have different outlooks on therapy and
mental health in general. But some things can’t be ignored or prayed over. No
matter how you try to swing it. Mental Health is just as serious as any other
health issue and deserves to be treated as such. In my life, I have been to the
psych ward in a hospital, I have seen psychologists and therapists. I am not
ashamed of it because this is how we break the stigma of mental illness. We do
this by removing the shame that society enforces us to feel. In the past century,
you locked your loved ones up in asylums for being mentally ill. The treatment
they received was beyond inhumane. (We talk about this in another blog post.)
The
Benefits of Therapy
Once you have decided to reenter
therapy and begin the therapeutic process, the benefits of improving
communication skills include learning how to make healthier choices, resolving
conflicts, and empowering yourself. But these aren’t the only benefits. You can
develop coping skills to manage stress, restore lost trust, restore intimacy,
and form a stronger bond (12 Rewarding Benefits of Therapy, 2024). This helps
you build the trust lost, especially if you are the one who is going through
addiction counseling. And you have to make amends. It allows us to have a
subjective mind to see what our place in the situation is. For example, if we
wronged someone and were the active participant in a fight. Then therapy would
allow us to see what we did wrong and how we acknowledge our fault. It’s
important to know we are not perfect and we make mistakes. We have to learn
from them. We developed those skills in therapy and became mature enough to fix
that behavior.
When life stresses you out, you are allowed
to apply those skills. As you learn and develop skills and benefit from the
benefits of therapy, you start to figure out things. When you start to see a discussion
escalating into an argument, it’s best to walk away because calmer heads
prevail. Setting a boundary, by stating, “I walked away because it wasn’t a
conversation, it was an argument, I will speak when I have calmed down.” If the
person continues to push the issue, then they are not respecting the boundary.
You need to hold firm. If you have to walk from one room to another or go outside,
then do it. But never engage because they want you to lose your head.
That’s something that I learned in
therapy, the old me would have engaged, and then it would have turned into a
fist fight. You grow and learn as you enter therapy, which is very important
for your own sanity—knowing when to draw a boundary and stick to it and not
budge. Applying what you learned and learning to grow as a whole person is key.
Therapy is something that shouldn’t
be taken lightly. Once you enter therapy, prepare to put in the work. If your
therapist says Journal or do this or that. Do it. Because they know why you
need to do this, just trust them and the process.
References
Lindberg,
S. (2020, October 24). Benefits and Options for Therapy. Healthline.
https://www.healthline.com/health/benefits-of-therapy
12
Rewarding benefits of Therapy. (2024, May 10). American Federation of Teachers.
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