Mental Health and Journaling

 by Brian Warriner

            Journaling has been part of my mental health, spiritual, and overall health for almost twenty years. In my early years, when I attempted to keep a journal, I made the mistake of bringing it to school. I had a cover that my mom made from plastic canvas. It was hearts on it, and I slipped the notebook into the folding flaps. I can’t remember what I wrote about. I did leave it in my study hall class, and by the end of the day, many people had read it. When I went back to get it, it was still there. I threw away the notebook and kept the cover at home. I denied it was ever me. Middle school is often considered pure hell for many people, and I was one of those individuals.

            It wasn’t until many years later that I returned to journaling. I had started my spiritual journey, and at the time, it was recommended to me to journal. It will help me understand the changes I will be going through. But also, it would help me keep track of my thoughts. I started with a notebook, then over the years, people bought me journals. Which I used, then I created a line of journals that I named Journals by Brian. They were themed journals. I even used several of my journal creations as a way to communicate how they are. I loved them. But I was the only one who used them. The themes varied from witchy to LGBTIQA+ Pride, to purpose, spirituality, and many others, such as my saints collection. Even though many others didn’t purchase them, I am proud of my creations.

            I journaled weekly, then transitioned to a couple of times a week, then to every other day, and eventually to every day. Now I journal as often as I need it because I won’t go to bed with all these thoughts in my head. Additionally, I find it difficult to sleep when my head and mind won't quiet down. I have tossed and turned, couldn’t sleep, and would go to my office to journal the thoughts I was having. I have been learning many ways to utilize journaling to its fullest potential. I have combined oracle cards with journaling. Thanks to Colette Baron-Reid, you can check out her class, "Journaling with Oracle Cards." In this class, she teaches you how to use oracle cards for journaling, helping you to understand yourself on a much deeper level. I highly recommend checking it out if you feel inclined to do so. Use the link at the end of this post.

Why Journaling Should Be Added to Your Mental Health Treatment?

            When you include journaling in your mental health treatment, you gain insight that can help in your therapy sessions. By putting it on paper, you are releasing what is bothering you, holding you back. It’s for your eyes only, unless your therapist asks to see your entries. Don’t let that stop you from speaking your truth. I have used journaling as the only way I can express my thoughts, feelings, and emotions without anyone telling me I am not allowed to feel that way. It’s a no-holds-bar kind of thing. After family situations, arguments, if I am having an issue. I go off in my journal. Honestly, it is a freeing experience. I keep silent, my thoughts, feelings, opinions, and words to myself. When I have a pen and my journal is open, it's open season.

            I basically cut myself and bleed onto the pages of my journal. I don’t hold back. I included journaling into my treatment, and for a while, it was the only treatment I had. Eventually, when things got bad, I had to seek help. I went into therapy, and I continue to include journaling. My therapist encourages me to keep journaling because it’s something that helps me vent and clear the channel, so to speak.

            When you are in rehab from addiction, it can help you keep track of the amends you need to make, your place in your addiction, your experiences, and how you are proceeding forward in your sobriety. Everyone I talk to who has an issue, I tell them to journal. Whether you are in recovery, in treatment for mental health disorders, disease, a spiritual path, or whatever, I recommend you journal. Because the insights you get from it and the benefits are 1000-fold. I will get to it.

The Benefits of Journaling

            The benefits of journaling go beyond the mental health benefits, such as reducing anxiety and depression, boosting serotonin and oxytocin levels. It also improves memory, self-confidence, and self-discovery (Dibdin, 2022). Beyond the mental health benefits, these practices also include improved sleep, enhanced immune function, and improved physical well-being, as well as stress alleviation.

            Some may also feel that emotional reflection inspires creativity. I have received some great story ideas and inspiration from my artwork. I, for one, have experienced this benefit. I have felt the benefits of journaling. The fact that I feel my anxiety and depression ease, and it isn’t as intense as it could be. Having journaled for nearly two decades, I have come to realize the benefits I have gained from this practice. Mentally, I have been able to process my emotions. When I enter a hospital, I have my journal with me along with my poetry journals. I will sit in bed or a chair and write in my journal if I can capture the emotions and thoughts that I am having in the moment. I also tend to do breathing exercises while journaling. Taking deep breaths in and out, then a deep cleansing breath. When I am home, I sit at my desk and journal—creating a space for me to journal instead of sitting on the edge of my bed. It has been beautiful. That’s okay if you don’t have a desk or table to sit at. This is for me.

            When times get tough, like during a medical emergency, death, or the stresses of life, my journaling has allowed me to be calm. I have become aware of my role in certain situations. For example, when I am with one of my parents in the emergency room, I hold my emotions and thoughts. Because I realize we don’t know what is going on, and we are gathering more information to get answers. When I write in my journal, I let out my emotions, thoughts, feelings, and opinions. Recently, with everything happening in the world and in our country, I took a page from Anne Frank’s diary and started writing about what is happening. Now, whether anyone with care to read the thoughts of a forty-year-old queer man is something that is up for debate.

            Through journaling, I have discovered that I am much stronger than I give myself credit for. How many people have had two toes amputated within months of each other? With a surgical shoe and a cane, they cooked the entire Thanksgiving Meal by themselves. Slowly, I set the table and made it ready for dinner. That was two years in a row. Through journaling, I have learned in my life that I play a part in all situations that affect me, whether directly or indirectly.

What do I Journal About and Why I Journal?

            I journal about my daily life, the events unfolding in the world and our country, and I voice my anger and opinions without regret. I will write about my dreams, and it helps me explore the symbolism and meaning behind them. If something significant is happening in my life or with my family, I write about it. I have cursed people out in my journal. When I say it’s a no-holds-bar kind of thing, that’s exactly what I mean. I have gone off on people in my journal. When someone I loved many years ago passed away, I was heartbroken. I had written about him and our situation. I recognized my role in our parting of the ways and the position I held. Through journaling, I found that reflection is as much a part of the process as we try to run away from our problems and rationalize our way to a solution. Journaling forces you to look yourself in the mirror, metaphorically. The journal is the mirror, and when you put everything on paper, you start to feel better.

            This is why I advocate for everyone to start journaling; movies like The Freedom Writers, starring Hilary Swank, hit me in my soft spot. Because she used journaling to encourage her students to share their stories, they began to see each other in a different light and the world they lived in. As I continue my education in psychology and into clinical mental health counseling, I will be bringing journaling into the treatment. It’s something that I have experienced, and I truly believe in. I plan on publishing prompt books filled with journaling prompts for various topics. This isn’t the only time I will talk about journaling.

            Just like a journal when one-page ends, you start another.

 

 

References

Dibdin, E. (2022, March 31). The Mental Health Benefits of Journaling. Psych Central.

            https://psychcentral.com/lib/the-health-benefits-of-journaling

Sutton, J. (2018, May 14). 5 Benefits of Journaling for Mental Health. Positive Psych

            https://positivepsychology.com/benefits-of-journaling/

Brennan, D. (2021). Mental Health Benefits of Journaling. WebMD.

            https://www.webmd.com/mental-health/mental-health-benefits-of-journaling

Use this link to check out Colette Baron-Reid's Journaling with Oracle Cards Course

https://oracle.colettebaronreid.com/powerofjournalingwithoraclecards-course-eg/

Survivor's Guilt: The Pain of Losing Someone

 by: Brian Warriner

            Have you ever been through a situation and survived? Like a car accident where you were driving and your loved one who was in the passenger seat died. Alternatively, you are in a plane crash and your spouse dies, but you survive. You are left with questions about why you survived the accident or situation. Especially if in a disaster, at first you go into denial and blame everyone for the reason why your loved one died. Survivor’s guilt is a process, but it is not linear. I remember a television show where a man protected his children in a fire and lost his life. His wife blamed the firefighters who responded to the call for her husband’s death. She sued them when it came out that they were not at fault. I also remember how people can get angry and upset that they survived, and their loved one(s) did not.

            Granted that kind of pain is a given, I do not think I could comprehend that kind of pain. Where, every day after that, you are consumed by the events that led to the death of your loved one(s). It can replay in your mind, and you have persistent depression and anxiety. It would cause a person to question why or how you can go on without your loved one. Moreover, it is this constant thinking process that might drive a person to suicide, addiction, or dangerous behavior. I am aware that many cultures have their own perspectives on therapy, counseling, psychology, and psychiatry as a whole. However, seeking help allows you to adjust more effectively and lead a more fulfilling life.

            Survivor’s guilt can cause one to question their relationship with their higher power. Moreover, will ask questions, like “Why me?” “Why did I survive, and so in so did not?” “Why did you forsake me?”

            The truth is, it is not what you think. Moreover, to hear someone say, “Things happen for a reason,” or “It was just their time,” or “It was not your time either.” Hearing these statements makes you want to punch someone in the face because they are something you do not want to hear, even if they are true. It can be triggering for someone in the midst of the aftermath of a death. It is a situation where a person can become stuck in their head and thoughts. This can make things worse for you.

            A person suffering from survivor’s guilt may feel numbness and disconnected from reality, shame, and sadness, and regret over perceived inaction or inability, anxiety, and depression. They may also experience social withdrawal, deal with insomnia, and have low self-esteem. This does make their world feel like a never-ending hell, especially if the person is a veteran who has been in the combat zone and saw their friends die right in front of them—or seeing them in an explosion. Veterans can experience PTSD and survivor’s guilt.

            While I was reading on a website, verywellmind.com, where survivors’ guilt could be a symptom of PTSD (Post Traumatic Stress Disorder), it is also possible that survivor’s guilt can be presented as a mood and stress disorder (Cherry, 2021).

            According to choosingtherapy.com, there are many scenarios where a person may also encounter episodes or bouts of survivor’s guilt, such as through natural disasters, genocides, such as what is happening in Gaza, and school shootings. Mass shootings. Wars can cause people to suffer from survivor’s guilt (Waichler, 2023). Every one of these situations has played out before our eyes. Furthermore, it can lead those involved, more importantly, those who survived these acts, to develop any more of the mental disorders or a combination of them.

            I will always recommend that if you have feelings of survivor’s guilt, grief/ bereavement, and suicidal thoughts, I recommend that you reach out to a mental health facility or the local emergency room. You need to seek help if you are having a mental health medical emergency.

 

Resources

Cherry, K (2021, February 20). Tips for Managing Survivor’s Guilt. Very Well Mind

            Https://www.verywelmind.com/survivors-guilt-4688743

Waichler, I. (2023, November 7). Survivor’s Guilt: Why It Happens and 7 Ways to Cope.

Choosing Therapy. https://www.choosingtherapy.com/survivors-guilt/

 

The Mental Health Umbrella: What does it consist of?

 by Brian Warriner

            An umbrella term is used to encompass the various parts of an industry. The mental health umbrella covers both psychological and psychiatric disorders. This also includes care, wellness, treatment, and research of the disorders. These disorders include emotional, mental, behavioral, educational, Sexual dysfunction, Stress, Eating disorder, Neurodivergent, Personality, Gender Dysphoria, Somatic, Dissociative, Depression, Anxiety, Obsessive-Compulsive, Bipolar.

            These disorders significantly impact the daily lives of individuals, causing them to struggle with their identity, and can lead to difficulties in navigating life. For example, when I was in the third grade, I was diagnosed with specific learning disability in reading and math. I struggled with math and reading, and as a result, my reading comprehension was challenging, and math was also difficult for me. To this day, it's more than just simple addition, subtraction, multiplication, and division. Later in life, I was diagnosed with General Anxiety Disorder and Major Depressive Disorder. In between, I was showing signs of grief-induced depression.

            The care of mental health disorders includes medication, therapies, and research into how we can improve these disorders. But new theories and many other ways of treatment are all under the mental health umbrella, which is under the medical/ healthcare umbrella. Some medical doctors are psychiatrists who operate and treat people in hospital settings. According to NAMI, the National Alliance of Mental Illness, they break down the careers within the mental healthcare umbrella.

            It’s the reason why I followed my path, and it led me to mental health, besides my journey with mental illness. With my family’s history with addiction, trauma, and my issues with grief. Everything conspired in my life to lead me to pursue a master's degree in Clinical Mental Health Counseling. With a specialty in grief, addiction, and trauma. When I am done with my education and I am licensed, I will be titled Brian Warriner, LCMHC. Which stands for Licensed Clinical Mental Health Counselor. There will be other titles that will be added in time. 

Grief: What is it and How do We Cope?

 by Brian Warriner

 

            Grief is a loaded word because it evokes a lot of emotion. Because we understand it’s a word that evokes a lot of emotion and action. It manifests itself in various ways, depending on the emotional connection associated with the situation. Grief affects individuals differently, depending on the nature of their relationship with the deceased. Let’s say you had a family member who abused you. When they die, you won’t cry. You would be happy that they are dead. Now, let’s say you are a parent whose child passes away, and it would break you. And the sadness and depression stick with you. Many emotions come through in these situations. Grief is a universal experience that everyone encounters.

We all experience this universal expression in many ways. When my grandmom passed away, it was unexpected; my grandpop, we knew he would pass away. Same with my Aunt Stella, we had gathered around the week she was dying. My Aunt B passed away unexpectedly. When my mom told me that the paramedics took her out. I knew something had happened. Then, being a psychic medium, I saw my paternal grandparents grabbing Aunt B’s hand and bringing her home. That’s been something that has happened recently. I got to see both my aunts’ transitions, which helped me accept that they had made it to the other side. But I am human and still have to go through the emotions of mourning a loved one. It wasn't easy to go through because things wouldn’t be the same. With Aunt B, we would go on vacation to Myrtle Beach. My Aunt Stella would call during the week of a holiday and ask when dinner would be, or she would go grocery shopping in our freezer. At the beginning of the summer, she called and asked if we had the pool open. She and my mom would go in the pool.  It’s memories like this that make certain times of the year difficult.

            Although the grieving process is broken into steps, the grieving process itself isn’t linear. We can experience the stages of grief in many forms and stages. The manifestation of the stage depends on the person experiencing grief. You bounce from stage to stage. One minute you might be in denial and shock, next you are depressed. Then one day, you might experience anger, followed by bargaining with God. Some may experience grief when they are caring for a sick parent or loved one. They had come so close to dying and had been by the deathbed to say their goodbyes. The loved ones recover. At which you have said everything you needed to, you’ve cried every tear, and you are at the point where it’s like, stop holding on, go. Or you have a loved one completed suicide, I want to point out the change in terminology from committed to completed. When you use the term 'committed,' it sounds like they committed a crime, when in fact they didn’t. But they completed the act of suicide. I will, from now on, use the term 'completed'. I plan on going in-depth in future blog posts. In this case, you may be in denial that your loved one performed this act, then you go into anger, and back to denial about their mental health status. However, you might accept it and then revert to anger. Everyone approaches the process differently. Everyone mourns differently. For example, on the television show MOM, season 6 episode 115 (Widdoes, 2018). When Marjorie’s husband dies, she is relieved that he has passed away. But Christy kept pushing her to show emotion and cry. But Christy didn’t understand that grief doesn’t happen when you say it should. Wendy explains that when a loved one is sick for a long time, the survivor has already mourned them. When they do pass away, they are more relieved than sad. One of the models used in grief counseling is the Kübler-Ross Model. Created by Swiss Psychologist Elisabeth Kübler-Ross (1926-2004) (biography.com editor,2018). She created the five stages of grief (see picture below)

     There are other models of the grieving process that have more than five steps. When researching the grief process, you may encounter the five stages of grief. (see picture below). It doesn’t matter which model you use; it is possible to feel multiple steps of the process simultaneously, which can make the journey much more intense. This can make it difficult to determine your current stage in the process. They say time heals all wounds. I don’t believe this. In my work as a psychic medium, I have had clients who said it feels like yesterday their loved one left. And it’s been decades. The only thing with grief is that it can be coped with and dealt with. But what we go through is an adjustment to not having that loved one in our everyday lives. We can’t call them up, go to lunch, and hang out with them. That’s the only thing we have that physically looks like healing. I do recommend that if you are dealing with grief and grieving a loved one, then seek help from a grief counselor.

            It’s this very topic and my experience that have encouraged me to study and become a clinical mental health counselor with a specialty in grief counseling. That's why you'll find more information about grief on my blog.

Resources

Widdoes, J (2018, Oct 25). Mom, Season 6, Episode 115, CBS

 

Biography.com Editors, (2021, April 7), Elisabeth Kubler-Ross-Quotes, 5 Steps of Grief and Facts, https://www.biography.com/scientists/elisabeth-kubler-ross